Today we arrived in Honolulu, Hawaii, and did so with panache: we were escorted into port by three U.S Coast Guard Zodiac boats with Coast Guardsman manning the forward .30 caliber machine guns. It is during observations such as these that you realize what a big target the Queen Mary 2 presents to any lurking terrorist. My mind flashed back to the historical factoid of Adolf Hitler offering instant promotions and additional bounty to any U-Boat Captain sinking either the Queen Mary or Queen Elizabeth troop ships.

We tied up at a container ship pier right in downtown Honolulu, one of the few piers able to handle a vessel as large as the QM2. This afforded us the opportunity to disembark and walk into downtown Honolulu in a matter of minutes, no taxis or busses required. We headed immediately for Iolani Palace, the former home of Hawaii's Kings and Queens. Yes, Hawaii was an independent monarchy right up to 1893 when American businessmen orchestrated a coup d'etat. This earlier version of 'nation building' allowed U.S. businessmen to make even more money from exploited Hawaiians and the lucrative trans-Pacific trade industry.

Fortunately, the palace has been restored to its royal glory by concerned citizens who take tremendous pride in Hawaiian history and culture. The palace itself – the only royal palace on American soil – is stunningly beautiful and magnificently restored. We had a docent who knew her Hawaiian history inside and out. What delighted me to no end was learning that Hawaii's kings loved technology. Whenever they traveled the world and encountered wonders of invention they returned them to Hawaii. The palace for instance was the first place in the kingdom to install indoor plumbing, electric lights, and telephones.

The other interesting 'fun fact' was the degree of formality at the Hawaiian royal court. Everything was scripted down to the most minute detail' every meal, every meeting, every correspondence was overseen and monitored by chamberlains and secretaries. Ultimately, a few nefarious chamberlains gave the last queen some very bad advice. These Rasputins then maneuvered the realm into a completely fallacious 'conflict' with the USA that resulted in U.S. Marines ringing the palace with weapons. The U.S. ambassador then demanded the Queen's abdication. So, faced with abdication or having her palace and person blown to smithereens, the Queen did the noble thing and stepped down from the throne. Immediately, the Republic of Hawaii was proclaimed and the rest is history. Chalk up another great moment in American imperial history.

Feeling guilty for my role in this conspiracy (even though it happened sixty years before I was born), I went to drown my sorrows at a Starbucks. Surely, there are addictive additives put into Starbucks drinks. I mean a mere four days without a chai latte and I was craving one unbelievably. I tried concocting my own attempts at the beverage by mixing and matching various tea blends from the coffee bar, but nothing even came close to the perfection of a Starbucks chai latte. I recall traveling the Pacific with our very own Juleigh Decarlo when we would both be having Starbucks withdrawal. We'd fight each other to see who would be first into the Starbucks so we could order our satiating brews. Starbucks, I stand in awe.

The absolute highpoint of our brief stay in Honolulu however was a ride on the 'Atlantis' tourist submarine. This is edutainment technology at its zenith. These tourist submarines allow passengers to experience the mystery of underwater exploration from the comfort of one's own viewport. I had been yearning for this shore excursion ever since we booked the cruise, and now it was upon us.

Atlantis adventures departed from the Hilton Hawaiian Village, which was also serving as headquarters for the forthcoming Pro Bowl. Unlike baseball, football holds its All-Star Game at the end of its season, and always in Honolulu. There was a Pro-Bowl Party underway as we arrived at the Hilton. Can you say "bacchanalia?" Suffice to say, the foam was flowing, as was the food. Infestations of thong-clad cheerleaders hovered around pools and bars. It was disgusting; so much so that I contemplated skipping the submarine adventure. Happily, calmer heads prevailed (in the person of my wife) and we boarded the tender that took us out to meet our very own Nautilus.

These submarine adventures are so popular that fourteen Atlantis submarines operate around the globe; in fact, two of them sail forth from Waikiki alone, while others can be found on Oahu and the Big Island. We boarded the smaller of the two subs, a 40+ passenger vessel costing $4 million dollars. It was remarkably spacious and comfortable inside, much more like Disney's 'Nautilus' of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea than the U.S.S Requin we had adorned with a self-guided tour only a semester ago.

We sat through the safety demonstration acknowledging silently that if anything really went wrong with the submarine it was lights out for everyone. This fact was further brought home to us when a shark appeared through the viewport. Tension mounted as the vessel suddenly lurched downwards and began its descent. Forget about motion-base rides boys and girls, this was the real thing!

Out of the murkiness of the ocean appeared suddenly odd man-made pyramids that were in fact artificial reefs designed by Japanese oceanographers. Each of these structures was teaming with fish. Darn if artificial reefs didn't appear to be doing what they were intended to do. And, the whole concept of artificial reefs suddenly made a lot of sense when one realized there are precious few places to hide on the ocean bottom. It must be hell being a fish out there, sort of like living in the Bronx.

We then skirted besides two airplanes that had been sunk as reefs and these too were brimming with multi-colored fish. They were joined by giant sea turtles that seem to move as slowly underwater as they do on land. We then sailed past a 117-foot Korean fishing boat that had joined the artificial reef neighborhood after an onboard fire that saw the crew try to put it out by using giant vats of soy sauce. Apparently, this was not a wise thing to do. The tour guide said the entire neighborhood smelled like a wok for weeks.

The most majestic artificial reef, however, belonged to a former U.S. Navy tanker that had served in World War II, Korea, and Viet Nam. This vessel is almost 200-feet long and served now as a veritable fish condominium. It too featuring lounging turtles and a few sharks, but the scene stealers were fish of bright and vibrant reds, blues, and yellows.

The thing that struck me most as we made our way back to the Waikiki Hilton and the QM2, was the difficulty I had accepting what I had just experienced as "real." My 'frame of reference' for everything I had seen during this underwater adventure derived from some previous cinematic rendering of this reality. I *had* experienced this all before, albeit in the form of a daring submarine movie or a visit to some great aquarium. So, what made this experience truly "real?" I mean my access to this underwater wonderland was mediated by a large window, a viewport, just like I experience in an aquarium. Spying the wreckage of airplanes and ships beneath the waves reminded me of Disney's original 20,000 Leagues adventure. I was sitting in a tube with forty other "guests" watching the depth gauge quietly illuminate our descent until it reached 115 feet and we literally were sitting on the ocean floor.

I knew I had had a terrific time during this adventure; in fact, I *loved* it. I wondered though at what made it distinctively "real" as opposed to the best illusion I had ever experienced, because frankly we could have re-created that experience with the proper technology and a large enough aquarium.

Dinner that evening was fish, an ignominious appreciation of the wonder we had observed just a few short hours ago, but it was good. In fact, it was absolutely delicious, as will be the memories of that submarine experience. Hmm, talk about the perfect ETC Adventure Module…